We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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