So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Barsexuality is the new black.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
