Ambien. No doubt about it.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
