Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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