Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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