If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
