batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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