Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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