remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
