Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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