Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
