school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
