He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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