I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
