Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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