how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
