My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
