And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
