Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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