Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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