i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
