Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
