I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
