Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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