its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
