Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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