did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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