Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
