the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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