Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
