I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
