i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
