yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
