the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
