No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
