you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
