when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
