Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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