Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
