think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
