and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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