i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
