He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
