What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
