Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
