I've blown a few things in my day
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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