I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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