I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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