I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
