i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
