Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
