we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
