u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
